Inspector Crimescene Investigates is a fifteen minute radio comedy show I wrote featuring the Celebrity Crime Division of Scotland Yard whose job it was to keep tabs on celebrities and ensure they weren't committing crimes in desperation to boost their fame or regain their flagging notoriety. The pilot show and a further episode were commissioned by Gaffa Productions, an independent radio production company, in 2005 starring Jonathan Kydd (Chambers, Jonathan Creek), Simon Greenall (I’m Alan Partridge) and Kate O’Sullivan (Dead Ringers, 2DTV). Sadly the company directors parted company before the project could be submitted to the BBC. Boo.

Nevertheless, here are the two recorded scripts for you to nose through, should you have a comic bent. Ooh I say.

Episode 1 - Bald Ambition.
Bra-liberal Gardener's World presenter Charlie Dimmock is trying to destroy the world, but how and why? Will Inspector Crimescene catch her in time? Yes, essentially.

Episode 2 - The Lord of the Numbers
Former Countdown stalwart Carol Vorderman stuns the world by capturing Inspector Crimescene, but for what purpose? And why is DFS designer darling Linda Barker being held prisoner too? It's all the do with the desire to find a new number...

Episode 2, recorded by Gaffa Productions in 2007.

Episode 3 - Hex Factor
The ghosts of long-dead pop stars are stealing various artefacts around London. Why? And what has Louis Walsh got to do with it? Everything, as it turns out. (This episode may not be as thoroughly edited as the others!)